Happenings in a coffee shop, or, how to ask a girl out, from my perspective

*Disclaimer: the views represented herein are my own personal views and may or may not reflect the views of other women. :D *

     Ok. Today I was out downtown hanging out in a very cool coffee shop and doing some homework. I was sitting on a small couch, in front of me was a coffee table, and there were two chairs on the other side. As I was sitting there diligently studying my Stravinsky notes (don't ask), a gentleman appearing to be about the age of 29 or 30 walked up and asked if it would be ok if he and his little boy sat in the two chairs. "Of course, please do," I said. After not-so-subtly watching me for a few minutes, he remarked that I looked very absorbed in what I was reading. Now I love talking to people, which may get me in trouble someday. So I put down my book and explained that it was Igor Stravinsky (not expecting him to know who in the world THAT is) and he nodded and said, "I never liked his music." Well! Interesting! A guy who actually knows classical music! So we talked for a couple minutes about music and then he said, "Oh by the way, I'm Sam. And this is Isaac." Points to his son. Who says he's eight. Lovely. At this point I noticed that Sam isn't wearing a wedding ring. Not that big of a deal - a lot of married guys don't wear rings, not the least of which is my dad. Then he mentioned "Isaac's mother" offhandedly. Not "my wife." Hm. The thought that he was talking to me "for a reason" honestly never occurred to me the whole time. Continue making small talk. Before I knew it, 20 minutes had gone by. Like I said, I like to talk to people. :) And he was really nice. Anyway, Isaac asked if they could go home because he was tired. Sam says, "Sure buddy." Getting up to leave, he hands me his "business card" that just happens to have his cell number on it, smiles and says, "Call me sometime if you want. I'd really like to get lunch or dinner with you and talk some more." *walks away*

     Now let me just say that getting asked out, even if it's casual like that, is definitely a compliment (unless the guy's a total freak. Unwashed hippies abound in this city, so it's possible). But the divorcee/widower type just isn't for me. Sorry, Sam. It occurred to me that getting asked out in a coffee shop probably isn't weird at all though. There are worse places. And worse ways.

     But for the record, that was the most mature/least weird way I've ever been asked out. I've had facebook twice and a text message once. And over the phone once. And once the guy's mom asked me for him. *awkward turtle hands* Maybe I've just had bad experiences, haha!

     Honestly though, if you're going to ask a girl out, do it like Sam did it. Just spit it out and don't beat around the bush. Yeah I know it can be a little scary to put yourself out there, but I think girls appreciate honesty. I definitely do. That said, don't ask a girl out if you aren't ready for a relationship to go somewhere serious. That's just selfish and immature. And totally inconsiderate of her. Know what you're looking for and don't fool around with the ones who don't fit the bill. Again, the whole selfish-immature-inconsiderate thing comes to mind.

Thoughts? Ladies? Gents?


Leah